Red bean and tarragon stew with fennel and artichoke hearts, and rosemary cornmeal bread

Red bean and tarragon stew

Red bean and tarragon stew

Yesterday was a bright, cold day, with a ripple of agitation as the unseasonable warmth from the beginning of the week was blown away by the cold damp air of today. The sky was white blue, and the late afternoon produced the sort of slanting golden light that tricks you into thinking it’s warmer than it is. And on this late-fall afternoon, you could find me riding all over town, wearing Isaac’s backpack, on Malcolm’s BMX bike. Malcolm’s been home from school all week, and I wanted to pick up his homework and prescription, but I didn’t want to leave him alone too long, and I felt too lazy to haul my bike out of winter hibernation in the basement. So here I was, wheeling around town on a small, bright Tintin-blue BMX wearing a small bright serpent-green backpack. It felt good – the cold air in my lungs harsh but cleansing, the cold air washing through my stale, lack-of-sleep addled brain clearing off the cobwebs. I had this strange sensation – hard to place, familiar, but remote – something I hadn’t experienced in a while. And then it came to me…I felt cool. I felt like a cool kid. I nearly laughed, but that wouldn’t have been cool. I realized that I didn’t feel, for a moment, like a tired and anxious 43-year-old on her son’s BMX. And, of course, that realization brought it all crashing around me, because I was a tired 43-year-old on her son’s BMX. Malcolm’s back in school today, and he told me they’re having an assembly with a BMX ramp and, I assume, skillful young BMXers doing tricks. Wouldn’t it be funny if I came flying down the ramp at the assembly? Waving and shouting, “Yoo hoo, Malcolm! Yoo hoo! It’s mommy!” Heh heh. So Malcolm and I have had a nice week, it’s cold and rainy today, and I miss having him around, though, of course, I’m glad he’s glad to be back in school.

Red bean and tarragon stew

Red bean and tarragon stew

While he was sick he craved brothy foods, and this was just such a meal. It’s quite substantial and has a lot of strong flavors, but they’re all flavors that I love, that work well together. It has a bit of zing to it, which transcends the potential (pleasant) stodginess of beans and potatoes. It’s a good meal for any time of year, really…in the winter I tend to stock up on jars of artichoke hearts and roasted red peppers to relive some of that summery flavor that you can capture fresh in other seasons. I like a nice crusty bread with my stew, so I decided to make one myself. I wanted it to be chewy and dense, but not with a fine crumb. So I added some cornmeal to the mix. And I kept the dough very wet – I had to use the food processor rather than my hands to knead it. I baked it in a bowl that I’d lightly greased, and it got stuck, so I had some trouble getting it out, but it was still delicious. Just a little messy, so you had to pull it apart with your hands, but that’s not such a bad thing!! I guess you could try a non-stick loaf pan, or just mound the dough onto a greased baking sheet. I’ll try it and let you know how it goes!!

Here’s Loch Lomond’s strange and beautiful Wax and Wire, in a video showing the most amazing BMX riding courtesy of Danny MacAskill, and the most beautiful landscapes, courtesy of Scotland.

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Butternut squash steaks with port wine/portobella/sage sauce and Hash browns with pistachios

Butternut steaks

Butternut steaks

Malcolm is home sick from school, and I’m not feeling 100% myself. We’re having such a nice day! We had a lot of big plans, but we’re not doing any of them. Mostly, we’re sitting on the couch, glad to be together, and reminiscing about the time Clio sneezed 6 times in a row.

I thought this was such a nice meal. It started as a mistake, almost, so it’s an example of taking a culinary wrong turn and finding yourself on an even better road! I had the idea of roasting “steaks” of butternut squash. I thought I’d try marinating them. I know they wouldn’t absorb as much marinade as, say, eggplant or mushrooms, but I thought they might absorb some. So I cut them about 1/3 to 1/2 inch thick. Then I made a marinade of rosemary, sage, garlic, port wine, balsamic and olive oil. I let them sit for more than an hour, turning them once. They did take on some of the color and flavor! Then I had the bright idea of trying to dip them in egg and bread them, in the manner that I make eggplant. This didn’t work at all! I think if I’d steamed them first, they would have absorbed more of the marinade, and been better able to hold onto their crust. As it was, the crust turned crispy and delicious, and then came right off the steaks. Did I panic? I did not. I scraped the crust (made from bread crumbs and pistachio kernels) right off of the steaks, and I mixed it in with my mashed potatoes! I’d been planning to make hash browns with some leftover mashed potatoes, because Malcolm likes them. I didn’t know he did, but he told me at the reader’s breakfast at school he ate all of his hash browns, and Isaac’s and some other friends, too!! It’s funny when you learn something new about someone you know so well! They’re a bit like croquettes, I guess with the crumbs and nuts added in. I suppose if you put some cheese in, you’d have a meal! Anyway…the butternut steaks roasted up nicely without the breading – they were soft on the inside, and just browned and a little crispy and caramelized on the outside. And I used the marinade sauce, combined with some roasted mushrooms, to make a sort of gravy for the steaks. Everything was very nice together – a real meat and potatoes meal!

Leftovers tacos

Leftovers tacos

The next day, after work, I combined leftover hash browns, leftover mushroom sauce, and diced leftover roasted squash with black beans to make a filling for tacos. We ate it with warm tortillas, crisp romaine lettuce, basmati rice and some grated extra sharp cheddar. Also very delicious!! It was so good it would be worth making from scratch! It would make a good filling for a savory pie!

Here’s The Joe Morello Quintet ft. Art Pepper with Pepper Steak
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Chickpea, artichoke, olive and goat cheese dip

artichoke goat cheese dip

artichoke goat cheese dip

Skip James is one of my favorites. His voice is so haunting and plaintive, and his playing so sweet. I love his song Look Down the Road, and it’s been in my head a lot lately. Here’s a sample of the wonderful lyrics…

Look down the road
‘Fer as my eyes could see
Hey-hey, yeah
‘Fer as my eyes could see
And I couldn’t see nothin’
Looked like mine, to me

I don’t want no woman
Got hair like drops a-rain
Hey-hey-hey
Got hair like drops a-rain
Boy, you know this a shame
It’s a pity an a cryin’ shame

Beautiful!! In honor of this song, today’s playlist subject is songs about “The Road.” They don’t need to have “the road” in the title, but all of mine do, because I’m lazy and late for work. I’ve made the playlist collaborative, so you should be able to add your own suggestions!!

This dip is a miracle of last-minute deliciousness. If you have a can of chickpeas and a can of artichoke hearts, a tub of olives and a bit of goat cheese, you’re ready to entertain! Or make a nice dinner with good bread and a salad.

Here’s my THE ROAD playlist! Feel free to add your own songs.

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White bean and tomato bisque with fennel, black olives and red peppers

White bean and tomato bisque with fennel, black olives, and red peppers

Our little Clio is overbearing. If you’re human and she doesn’t know you, she needs to meet you, and try to scale you, vertically, and kiss you on the cheek. If you’re a dog, of any size or age. She LOVES you. She wants to put her paws around your neck and lick your mouth. She knows you want to play with her! She just knows it!! That’s what it means when you growl and snap at her, right? If you’re human and she knows you – watch out. If she hasn’t seen you for ages and ages, like five whole minutes, she will launch herself at you, and hover in the air before you furiously pummeling with two white paws. She will flip around like a happy fish, tangling herself in your legs and trying to knock you over, so (if you’re one of my sons) she can dance joyfully all over you. If you’re cooking, she feels compelled to stand on her back legs, paws grabbing the edge of the counter, or sit on your feet, in case you need help. At night she starts at the foot of the bed but slowly slithers her way up till her head is on your pillow. You push her back, and she slowly slithers up again, to make contented grumbly whuffly noises in your ear. She’s so excited for her food that she’ll frantically gobble it down before it even hits her bowl. She’s relentless. She’s too much for some people. But not for me! I love her merry exuberance. Obviously I’m cool and insouciant, now, but there was a time in my life when I was overbearing, too. I was so excited to get into class and have the right answer and share things I liked. I was always super eager for dinner, though I’ve never gone so far as to empty the bowl before it even hit the table. I remember, once, seeing a teacher roll her eyes at my eagerness. And I remember how that felt – the sudden realization that I was annoying. And I have to tell you that trying, awkwardly, to be less annoying only makes you more annoying. To be honest, I’m still too eager to share recipes and music and anything else that I like. I still talk way too much, especially when I’m nervous or excited. Yesterday at our conference with Malcolm’s teachers they told us that he’s bright and kind and getting good grades. But…he’s growing too fast! His arms and legs are too big and he doesn’t know what to do with them! He has too much energy, and he can’t contain it! He can’t sit still, he can’t keep to himself. That’s right, Malcolm is overbearing, too. I could hear the little eye roll in their voice as they labeled my son a certain way, whilst expressing their fear that he would be labeled a certain way. I could hear the annoyance in the way they said his name, and I know that he could hear it, too. And I imagine that would make him nervous, and I know him, nervousness makes him antsy so he can’t sit still. Yesterday was a rough day, and I felt undirectedly angry. I yelled at Malcolm a little bit, because I’m worried. And then we sat on the couch and snuggled, we had a good talk, we studied for his science quiz. He was calm and peaceful and attentive, just like we all know he can be. And my overbearing puppy jumped up and curled next to him, because she finds his calmness and strength reassuring (how do I know? Well, that’s what she told me!) What a day!

This soup is full of overbearing and assertive flavors, yet the combination is smooth, unusual, and very flavorful. I’ve been wondering for some time now why I’ve never encountered olives in a bisque. (Picture me, walking down the street, scratching my head. Why? Why? Why no olives in bisques?) They go so well with other flavors! I love olives with fennel and tomatoes. I love cauliflower in a puréed soup, because it makes it smooth and creamy, I love tomatoes and roasted peppers and smoked paprika this time of year. So that’s the kind of soup I made. The boys ate it over pasta as a sort of sauce, but I thought it was lovely all on its own. With plenty of flavors that mingle well together.

Here’s My Adidas by Run DMC. Malcolm has been wearing an old pair of adidas I had, so I just played this song for him, and he used some of his legendary energy to show off his moves.
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Say “Happy Thanksgiving!” with a double crusted fennel, pecan, and black bean pie!

Black bean, fennel and pecan pie

Memphis Minnie tells us that she hates to see the evening sun go down, and I know what she means! Dusk always makes me feel a little melancholy, particularly this time of year when it comes so early. When I was little we’d go for walks after dinner, at that time of day that people had their lights on but hadn’t closed their curtains yet. It always made me feel lonely to get a small glimpse of other people’s lives, in the circle of their own lit rooms. Sometimes it seemed that my family – my mom and dad and brother and I – were alone on a little raft of space, surrounded by vast empty darkness. Yes, I was an odd child! For some reason the light feels wider-reaching and more substantial now. I said during this recent power outage that I would never take light and heat for granted again, and I stand by that. So we here at The Ordinary would like to wish everybody a happy thanksgiving, filled with light and warmth. Not just the magic of electrical light and warmth, but the light of knowledge and the warmth of human connection. The warmth of the circle of your own family, and the warmth generated by the kindness of strangers. The bright clear light that chases out the darkness of ignorance and cruelty. The vivid light of inspiration and creativity, like the sparks that I see shooting out of my boys, particularly when they click against each other, creating fireworks that I can’t really contain in this house! The eccentric individual light of life that glows in each person, that we might try to hide sometimes. Let it pour out! Let it gleam! Let yourself shine and glow! And, of course, the warmth of a hot meal, shared with loved friends – we wish that for everyone on earth. Everyone! Awwww, man, I know, we’re getting a bit sappy and cliched – I see you rolling your eyes, you in the back of the class! That’s what we do in America on thanksgiving. It’s tradition. But I wish it for you anyway – I wish you warmth and light!

Here’s Nina Simone, with Jelly Roll. She shines and glows, even when she’s wrapped in black. And Mos Def, with Umi Says His Umi told him to let his light shine onto the world…

Life is not promised
Tomorrow may never appear
You better hold this very moment very close to you
Very close to you
So close to you, So- close to you
Don’t be afraid, to let it shine

We’re going to David’s mom’s house for thanksgiving, and I’m bringing this double crusted pie. It has black beans, fennel, spinach, pecans, a bit of sharp cheddar, a peppery crust. I haven’t tried it yet, but I’ll let you know if everybody does a spit take when they taste it!
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Chickpea pot pie & sweet potato hashbrowns

Back when I had a real job, about a million years ago, I was project editor on a book that revealed the secrets of being a successful entrepreneur. It was all about money, obviously, with a lot of attention devoted to marketing. People were consumers, first and foremost, and they could be manipulated into buying things if you made them feel a lack or made them feel bad about themselves in some way. It struck me as so sad and cynical, and I still think about it, particularly this time of year when the market-targeting-messages are coming thick and fast. It’s holiday season, and we’re all taking the time to be thankful. This year, I’ll tell you that as well as being incredibly grateful for the things I have, I’m going to declare my gratitude for the things I don’t have, that I don’t want. I’m grateful that I’m at a place in my life that nobody can shame me into wanting something I don’t need, or make me feel so bad about myself that I believe somebody can sell me something to make everything okay. Believe me, I still have plenty of insecurities, but I know what they are, they’re my familiars, and I will not let anybody exploit them for financial gain. I do not want longer eyelashes, I do not want perfect children, I do not want my children to have everything that they think they want, I do not want a bigger house or a cleverer car, I do not want quilted toilet paper, I do not want to be the life of the party, most of the time I don’t even want to go to the party any more, I do not want a smarter faster phone, I do not want cheaper cable TV, or any cable TV, because I do not want to watch your commercials. I’m thankful to be liberated from fabricated need!!

Chickpea pot pie

I do want to bake nice warm comforting meals that I dream up in the nice warm comfort of my happily eccentric brain. This is (obviously) modeled on a chicken pot pie, but it has chickpeas in it!! I made the chickpeas myself, from scratch, and weirdly, this is the first time I’ve ever done that. You could easily make this recipe with a can of chickpeas, though. This pie would be vegan if you used margarine instead of butter in the crust. I used a bit of olive oil in my crust, because the other week I didn’t have enough butter, and added olive oil and it turned out nice and flaky, so I thought I’d try it again. I thought the sweet potato hash browns turned out well!! I’ve never quite taken to sweet potatoes, because they don’t seem to get crispy like regular potatoes. They did this time!! I fried them in butter, with a bit of cheddar and rosemary, and they were lovely!!

Sweet potato hash browns

Here’s Tom Waits with Step Right Up. Live, in 1977!

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Roasted root veg stew with chickpeas, red wine and oj, and semolina mozzarella volcanoes

Roasted root veg and red wine stew

(I promise this is the last time I’ll talk about the damn power outage – until the next time!). I live in a small city. It’s a nice community made up mostly of kind, eccentric people who have either had family here since the 19th century, or who have recently moved here from New York or Philly because they had a kid or got a dog, or just want a bit of peace. It’s built on a mid-1800s industrial scheme, with lots of brick row houses, attached or semi-attached, and small back yards that look into neighbors’ small back yards. Like many communities in which people live in close proximity, the town is quite liberal, socially and politically. We respond well to natural not-quite-disasters. Snowstorms and floods bring people out to walk the quiet streets and help neighbors shovel out or dry out. During the recent power outage, everybody gathered at city hall in the center of town to power their phones and lap tops – our only connection to the outside world! I’ve been thinking that you could write a tense, highly-wrought existential play about city hall during the ten days without power. The technology that usually keeps people apart, separate in their own rooms, with their own devices – the technology that sometimes seems to have made it impossible for people to have a coherent conversation without checking their little glowing screen – brought people together in this small building. It was first come-first serve for an outlet, and people would divide into groups – some in the bright front room, with the coffee and donated donuts and cakes, and some in the cramped, dark back corridor. You saw people you didn’t know lived in this town – people you didn’t see in your daily routine, because they don’t have children or dogs. At first the place was packed, and everyone was friendly and cheerful, everybody making the same jokes, asking the same questions. We’ve all been through it before, we’d get through it again. Everybody wanted to know the same thing – when would the power come back on, was it safe to drive out of town. The ladies that worked at city hall didn’t know. The men in official-looking suits didn’t know. The mayor wandered about, looking lost. He didn’t know. Surely somebody knew? Surely the power company knew. No, nobody knew. Nobody. And then people started to act stressed and depressed. Why was it taking so long? Why could nobody tell us when it would be fixed? But somebody would say they’d seen footage of other towns, where things were worse, and nobody could complain after that. The crowds thinned as the nights became freezing and people left town. You’d overhear the mayor admitting that they hadn’t even started work yet. Then people started to get angry. The fabric of society was breaking down. There were tales of crews of electricians from Ottowa or Ontario, but nobody saw them, there were no fleets of trucks. They were phantom linesmen, and we were told not to talk to them or they’d go away. There was a sign scrawled on white board. “Don’t yell at the linesmen.” The linesmen that nobody saw. The crowds dwindled, and the people that remained were desperate and dirty and angry. By the last day people stood on the steps of city hall screaming and angry, helpless and powerless. And the curtain falls on the dark stage, exeunt omnes. Can’t you just see it? I don’t really know what it would be about, but I’m sure I could write some sort of review that talks about alienation in the age of computerized communication and electrical lights as a symbol of our futile search for false knowledge, and you know, some kind of double entendre about “power” for the people. Oh yes.

Pretty root vegetables

And this is exactly the kind of meal I longed to make during that time that I promise not to talk about any more! Warm, comforting, and very flavorful. We got some root veg from our CSA, and it was the prettiest root veg you’ve ever seen! Golden beets, and peppermint candy-striped beets. By the time I’d roasted and stewed them, they were quite drab, but they made up for it by being delicious. I thought I’d combine all the root veg-y flavors – sharp peppery turnips with sweet carrots and potatoes and earthy beets, with a sauce of red wine and orange juice, lemony sumac and smoky paprika, and autumnal herbs. It turned out very nice. And I made these little semolina muffins, but I tucked mozzarella inside, and when it melted and the muffins baked, it came out of the top like little volcanoes. Fun, and tasty with the stew.

Here’s Neighborhood #3 (Power Out) by Arcade Fire.

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Spinach and white beans on toast & Oatmeal, black pepper and nutmeg bread

Spinach and beans on toast

I’ve spent quite a bit of time on hold, today. We’re switching to a cable internet connection. Apparently, this makes everything work much faster, so you have plenty of extra time to remain on hold with the cable company. But did I waste my time? Oh no, I did not! I watched videos of Elizabeth Cotten playing guitar and banjo. My god, she kills me! Here is her story as briefly paraphrased from the brief paraphrasing that is wikipedia. She was born in 1895 in North Carolina to a musical family. She played her brother’s banjo, and when when she was still very little, she took a job as a maid in order to buy herself a guitar. She and her brother would watch the freight trains run by their house on a single track while they chopped wood and drew up water. And they would sing as they worked. Elizabeth started writing songs, including Freight Train, probably her best known song. At thirteen Elizabeth began working full-time as a maid. At fifteen she was married, and shortly thereafter she had a daughter. She gave up the guitar, and didn’t play for twenty-five years. When her daughter was married, Elizabeth divorced her husband. She worked briefly in a department store. While there, she helped a lost child find her mother. That child was Penny Seeger, of the Seeger Seegers, the famous musical family. They took her home as a maid. She played one of their guitars, learned to play again almost from scratch, was recorded by Mike Seeger, and went on to perform with him, and become quite well-known in the circle of the folk song world. Elizabeth Cotten is left-handed, so she plays guitar and banjo upside down, plucking out the melody with her thumb. This is so remarkable to me! When she plays it sometimes sounds as if two guitars are playing at once. But she’s playing with two fingers! She taught herself to play, she turned everything upside down, and she made something sweeter and more beautiful than anything I’ve heard “correctly” played.

I found this video of her playing and talking. I guess it was made in 1978, and it seems as though it was shot on 16 mm, and roughly edited. I love everything about it. I love the darkness, and the silences around her playing, when she just sits and waits. I love the stories she tells. I like to think about her life, which seems so strange and important, and which I can only get a sideways, glancing picture of in my mind.

I made a loaf of bread the other day, with ground toasted oats, honey, black pepper and a pinch of nutmeg. I made the dough very soft and wet, so that the bread had a wide open crumb, kind of like a crumpet. I think it turned out very good. The flavor is subtle, you taste the honey, but the pepper and nutmeg are only hinted at. One night when I came home from work, I wanted a quick and comforting meal, so I sauteed some spinach and white beans and spread them on toast made from my oatmeal bread. I melted some cheese on my toast, too. This is sort of inspired by beans on toast and creamed spinach on toast. That’s a thing, right?

Oatmeal bread

Here’s a link to an Elizabeth Cotten album on spotify, I hope.

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Power! and hurricane chili with sweet potatoes, red beans, kale and pumpkin ale

Clio sleeps on Malcolm

The Ordinary has power!! POWER! All the lights shut off the evening of the storm, and yesterday, on DAY TEN (!) they came on just as the first snow started to fall. I cried like a baby! First of all, I know we’ve been very lucky in many ways. Our home and our family are safe and sound. But it’s been such a strange week and a half! So memorable – certain vivid moments glow in my head – and yet altogether such a blur, each day melted into the other, and now it all feels like some strange dream. We had some fun, even euphoric, moments, but mostly it was stressful. I’m exhausted, despite having done very nearly nothing for ten days. I spent ridiculous amounts of time sitting and waiting. We went for lots of walks, and played games and wrote stories and read a little. We stayed a few nights with our kind warm-homed, warm-hearted families. But I felt foolishly incapable of concentrating. And then it got too cold to hold a pen. I was embarrassingly frazzled by the whole situation. It was as though without electricity I couldn’t do even simple non-electrical tasks like cutting my nails. I spent a lot of time sitting and thinking, and you know you’re going to hear all about that! The past day and a half have been spent trying to catch up – cleaning out the tank of dead fish and the fridge full of spoiled food, scrubbing down the toilets after two little boys have peed in the dark for more than a week. And then filling the fridge with good food and baking anti-depressant oatmeal-chocolate chip-spice cookies to warm up our kitchen and fill it with good smells. I missed cooking! I missed writing! I missed writing about cooking! So I’ll tell you all about everything, eventually. Whether you like it or not!

But for now I’ll leave you with a recipe for the chili I made last Monday before the power went out. It has sweet potatoes from the farm, red beans, yellow split peas, kale, corn, pumpkin ale, sweet spices, spicy spices. I started it early in the afternoon in case the power went out, and it sat on the stove for a few hours, but we could have eaten it sooner. I kept throwing other things in as the day wore on, so it ended up with quite a few ingredients! Use what you have! We ate it with basmati rice and cheesy garlic bread. The next day we spread some inside of tortillas with sharp cheddar, folded them over, wrapped them in foil, and cooked them in a fire in the back yard. Good as well! I didn’t take a picture of the chili, because I was worried about batteries in the camera, and I was just too off-kilter to remember! So you get a picture of Clio lying on Malcolm’s head instead, during the storm. He makes her feel safe, and she was protecting him, too, I think. She fell asleep like that!

And here’s a list of songs about power and electricity. Can you think of any I should add? Some of the songs might be a little sweary. Listen to the first one, at least, though. Curtis Mayfield with the demo version of Power to the People. (Who gave me that? I love it to pieces!!)
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Spicy fava-roasted carrot puree and caraway pepper flatbreads

Spicy fava carrot purée

We’re hunkered and bunkered down, waiting for hurricane Sandy to stop by. At the moment we’ve got driving rain and fairly wild wind. But we still have power, so I can’t complain. We’re all a little stir crazy, but I’m actually having a nice day. We’re all together, the boys didn’t have school, and we were asked to stay off the roads, so David is home, too. I baked a cake. I made a big pot of sweet potato, red bean, kale and pumpkin ale chili that will hopefully keep warm for dinner if the power goes out, and I’m currently drinking the rest of the pumpkin ale. We’ll sit and draw for a while. I can’t complain!

I’m not up to my usual rambling nonsense, so I made a playlist about storms, floods, winds and rain. I’m open to suggestions for songs to add!

caraway flatbread

And I’ll just tell you quickly about this yummy meal. Loosely based on my understanding of tunisian carrot salads and on Ethiopian ful, this is a spicy puree of carrots, olives, and fava beans (the dried and cooked kind, I used a canned variety) Quick to make, and delicious with these caraway seed flatbreads.

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