Chickpeas, black beans and spinach with lime, ginger and avocado

Chickpeas, spinach, black beans and avocado

Chickpeas, spinach, black beans and avocado

“We have a mom to cut our pineapple! We have a mom to cut our pineapple!” Malcolm sang as he and Isaac danced around the kitchen in their pajamas. They’d been in their room for an hour, and they’d piled all of their blankets and pillows around the edge of their bed. They were protecting someone from something: they’d drawn a map and some diagrams, they’d written notes. They weren’t Malcolm and Isaac. They weren’t even Malcolm and Isaac’s longtime alter egos Charlie and Harry. They were friends of Charlie and Harry. And they had just decided that whoever they were, they had a mother because they needed her to cut up pineapple for them. And just like that I’d become part of their story. I love their ability to wander through the world making a story of their lives. It’s so raw and fresh and funny when they do it, but I think it’s something everybody does, only we’re so close to it we don’t notice. We all write a story for ourselves as we go along, we make a world for ourselves, we make patterns and meanings from all the small moments of our lives. We could probably take a step back and write scholarly theses about the symbols and metaphors unfolding all around us. We can let other people into our lives as characters just by deciding they’re important and taking the time to learn about them and letting them cut our pineapple. We can decide where we’ll go next when we turn the page, we can choose between a taut drama and a meandering pastoral just by the way we respond to all of the little plot points and conflicts of our lives. It’s a lot of responsibility, really! I’ve been thinking about stories lately, because I’ve decided this is going to be a year of stories. Another year of stories. David gave me three blank books last year and I filled them up! They’re crammed with notes and rambles, words I like, short fiction, recipes, doodles, plans. And he gave me a package of pens, and they’re used up, they’re all dry! He gave me six blank books this year, and a pen that’s meant to last seven years. And I’ve started on them already! I’ve got stories in my head and they’ve got to come out!! And I hope to make these stories and my story as bright and focused and beautiful as it is in my power to do! After all, by my own befuddled logic, I’m the author, I’m writing this story. And that’s my grand plan for a sleepy snowy new year’s eve.

Beans and veg and spices. What could be better than that? I thought of this as a sort of warm salad, but it became more of a sauce as it went along. Because it has ginger and lime, it’s very bright and flavorful. The beans and chickpeas are grounding, the avocado is fresh, and the spinach and tomatoes are warm and saucy.

Here’s Boogie Chillun by John Lee Hooker.
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Mushrooms stuffed with pecans, black beans and smoked gouda

Black bean and pecan stuffed mushrooms

Black bean and pecan stuffed mushrooms

I took the day off work yesterday, not because I’m sick, although I am, but because somebody asked for my shift and I thought, “Why not?” But I felt vaguely guilty all day. I only work two days a week, so it’s absurd to take one of them off. I had the mildly panicky feeling that we had to have a really wonderful day to justify my idleness. We had to do important things, and get a lot done, and have a remarkably good time. We had to have a hundred-dollar-day, because that’s what I might have hoped to make at work. Well, we didn’t get much done, we didn’t have any great adventures or go anywhere exciting. Isaac never even got out of his pjs, and yet I wouldn’t have traded this day or the memory of this day for any amount of money. We don’t have many days off together, because I work on the weekends and our store is open and the boys are in school all week. So David took Malcolm up to the shop, and they learned how to use Malcolm’s new airbrush. And Isaac and I didn’t do much of anything. We built a lego tower. We sketched: he drew sea monsters, “in the mom style,” and I sketched him sketching. We shared a sliced pear and played a game with strange cards and shifting rules. And then he asked me if I like being a mom. “It is a home question.” I replied, “I shall have to lay myself open to such a catechist, and I am not sure that I am prepared to do it.” Of course I didn’t say that! I don’t even fully understand the meaning of the word catechist. But it is a home question, it gets to the very heart of everything, of me, of our home, of my life. Mr. Thornton’s answer is to the question “You are all striving for money. What do you want it for?” And Mr. Thornton was silent. Then he said, “I really don’t know. But money is not what I strive for.” “And what then?” And what then? Well, I told Isaac that I like being his mother, it’s the best thing in the world. And then he said he wanted to see what it felt like to take care of someone. He made me lie on the couch, close enough to Clio that I could pet her, which was an important part of the process. He got me two pillows and a glass of water. He tucked me in with two of the softest blankets imaginable. Then he “unbundled” my hair so I could sleep better. And he read to me from a book of strange facts, about a walrus that plays the flute, and an upside-down house, and a teddy bear made of gold with diamond eyes. He said, “Are you entertained? Are you entertained?” And then he was very quiet so that I would fall asleep. I didn’t sleep, but it seems as though I dreamed in flashes. And that was our afternoon. I suppose everybody needs to be taken care of sometimes, and often you don’t realize it until it comes from an unexpected place, until somebody makes you sit still for a moment. People raced by our house in the cold endless rain, and Clio sighed and groaned and refused to go into the yard. Towards evening when the rain slowed a pale greenish glow filled the sky and as the day ebbed it was as bright as it had been since morning. David and Malcolm came home. We made a good dinner, we went to a movie in the movie theater for the first time in ages. It was a good day, it was a home day, it’s what we strive for.

I like after holidays when giant mushrooms go on sale. I used giant white mushrooms–stuffing mushrooms they call them, but you could easily use portobella instead. I stuffed them with a mixture of chopped pecans, chopped mushroom stems, chopped black beans, and grated smoked gouda and sharp cheddar. I got a new food processor for Christmas, and I’m chopping everything in sight! Watch out!! They were flavored with sage, thyme, and nutmeg. They took on a nice savory-sweet almost praline-y flavor once the pecans browned.

Here’s My Baby Just Cares For Me, by Nina Simone.
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Parsnip and kale pie

Parsnip almond pie

Parsnip almond pie

Hello again, Ordinary friends! I hope everybody had a peaceful joyful holiday. We did, although my bad cold has turned into something else lingering and painful in my head, which makes me feel like I’m under water. I couldn’t hear or think or smell or taste, and the past few days I’ve had a strange sleepy feeling of not being fully present. I must confess it’s given me the oddest feeling. Sometimes things work in your head but they don’t work in real life. Something you cook or write or draw makes so much sense when you think about it, but upon execution it’s just not quite right. Well, it almost felt that my whole life only worked in my head. My whole world that I’ve created for myself only worked in the isolation of its own little microcosm, everything contained in fragile little bubbles, and upon exposure to reality they *pop* and everything floats away, as insubstantial as you’d always feared it might be. I met a stranger and she asked what I did–she said, “What do you do?” And I panicked! I giggled and yelled “crossword puzzles!” Naw, I didn’t, but I think I might have babbled about how pretty my dog is. Not that it matters, but it’s a big question and I wasn’t ready for it. However, however, this morning Clio and I went for a long walk on the tow path, and it felt good to get back because it’s been so slick and icy it wasn’t walkable. And it’s remarkable how much color there is this time of year, if you really look for it. In the bark of the trees, and the lingering leaves, and the vines and the rocks and the moss and the pale golden green wintery light. In the pretty busy cedar waxwings and robins and cardinals. And we came to a place at the end of the path, where a golden field curved softly before us, all covered in frost, and an arch of pale cobbled clouds curved softly above us, glowing with morning light, and I swear, standing there between them you felt you could breathe it all in, you could inhale this hopeful light. Well, my spirits were elevated, my head cleared and I thought about rebuilding the world in my head. Which is after all a very strong and vivid world, most of the time, built on my very strong love for the boys and David and Clio and the towpath and this town and my new five blank notebooks and my new sea green pen with a small white whale on it and all of the stories I’ll write with it, which are in my head already, waiting to come out. And then I came home and coughed a lot, but minutes later I could actually smell Isaac’s new modeling clay, and I could feel things coming into focus. And this is what I did on my winter vacation.

Plus I made this parsnip pie. It has a filling of almonds, hazelnuts and eggs, seasoned with rosemary, nutmeg and lemon zest and mixed with roasted parsnips and bright kale. I think it probably tasted good. And that’s all I can say about that because I’m late for work!

Here’s Nina Simone with In the Morning, which has been stuck in my head for days.
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Ginger & pepper brownies

Ginger and pepper brownies

Ginger and pepper brownies

Isaac tells me that tomorrow he’ll be able to say “tomorrow is Christmas eve.” The excitement amongst the younger Ordinary set is palpable. And those of us with more Christmases-past under our belt and more worries on our shoulders? Well, we’re getting there, too. We’re lurching towards Christmas spirit. It’s hard not to, really, when we see the boys so happy and hopeful, even though my nose is so stuffed up that I can’t smell the Christmas tree and time is flying so fast that by the time I realize it’s Christmas it will all have passed. But the days are getting longer, and I swear I can almost feel it already. I was thinking that when I was younger Christmas seemed like such a special, separate time. Completely different from the days before and after it. Its own world, really, and it almost felt as if you travelled to this glowing other place, complete with jet-laggy let down when it was over. It doesn’t really feel like that any more, I guess because now that I’m pretending to be an adult the cares and concerns of daily life go on and on and on with non-festive inevitability, and even the merriest traditions take some planning for and cleaning up after. But I was also thinking that in some ways this is a good thing. This makes Christmas spirit, and all that that implies, easier to visit throughout the year. We can make quick trips, because it’s all woven in with our daily lives. And one of the ways that this manifests itself is in Christmas music. Not the time-honored carols and hymns that you really don’t want to hear the rest of the year because they’ll get spoiled, but the songs about Christmas and for Christmas that you can carry with you into the world outside Christmas-land, because they’re just that good. So today’s Sunday interactive playlist is non-traditional Christmas songs. I think I made a list of them last year, so we’ll start with that. We have some Jimmy Smith with Christmas cooking. Some really wonderful Eek a Mouse, Maytals and Ethiopians, some Run DMC. As ever, add what you like, or leave a song in the comments and I’ll add it through the week. We’ll have a nice long list by Christmas day!!

I may have mentioned earlier in the week that I was having trouble smelling or tasting anything. The only flavor that seemed to get through was ginger. So I drank gallons of ginger beer, and put ginger in everything I made. Including these brownies. They’re nice and dark, and they have a little bite. They have crystallized ginger, chopped quite fine, powdered ginger, and freshly ground black pepper. Nice.

Here’s a link to your interactive playlist.
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Spinach, artichoke and potato torta

Spinach and potato torta

Spinach and potato torta

“How long ago was Halloween?” I do rapid fuzzy calculations in my head and provide a believable answer. “And my birthday, how long ago was my birthday?” Another quick and unreliable response. “And how many days till Christmas?” Isaac is curious about time passing, particularly as it relates to holidays and birthdays. It doesn’t seem all that long ago that he was mastering the complicated concepts of last night and tomorrow, and now he’s trying to put it all in context. Several snowy blocks after the impromptu calendar-math test, he asked, “Why is Clio always so curious?” Well, I said, she doesn’t watch TV or read (at least while we’re looking), so this is how she learns about the world. She sniffs, and she knows who was here before her. She knows about dogs who have walked this way, about cats and squirrels and people. “So this is their way of sharing non-fiction stories?” (I swear to god he said this!) And I said, Yeah, they pee all over the snow and that’s their newspaper. This got a giggle because of the ever-popular word “pee.” (Know your audience!) Then he asked how old of a smell Clio would recognize, how many months or years old a smell could be that Clio would be able to identify, and I obviously didn’t know the answer to that one, but I said I’d always thought of dogs as historians, because they can unearth layers of events. Then he said he wished he could talk to dogs, so he could ask her. And I said that she might have a completely different concept of time passing, so that when she tried to describe how old a smell was, and how much time had passed we might not be able to understand her. It seems like dogs must have a different feeling of time going by, it would be cruel otherwise, but time does seem cruel sometimes. Dogs sleep most of the day, so maybe for them it’s like a dream, with its own strange logic and chronology, with bright spots and flashes of sun and shadow. And meals, of course, she has an uncanny ability to tell when it’s her mealtime. And then Isaac, master chronicler of a little boy’s sense of time passing, said, “I think she’d say, ‘these mammals,’ (I doubt she’d say “people”)’These mammals get it all wrong.'” We probably do. We probably do.

Spinach and potato torta

Spinach and potato torta

So, as I mentioned in yesterday’s bratty confessional, I wasn’t feeling too wonderful. I didn’t even feel like cooking that much, which is odd for me. But around dinner time I started to mull it over. What’s comforting to me? I’ll tell you what is! Potatoes, spinach, eggs, and cheese. Melty cheese. So I decided to combine them all, and then I decided to call it a torta, as if it was a real thing. Maybe it is! I vaguely remember eating an omelette with sliced potatoes in it when we were in Spain. Maybe it was called a tortilla? Who knows? It was all long ago in my dream-like memory.

Here’s Chet Baker singing Time After Time live in Belgium
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Smoky paprika and gouda biscuits

Smoky gouda biscuits

Smoky gouda biscuits

Welcome to The Ordinary’s sick day ramble! I’m feeling poorly. Aches and pains and ague and fog and general sluggishness and stupidity. I’m sure I have a lot to do, but I’m equally sure that none of it is at all important and most of it will be undone later in the day anyway. I’m having a hard time persuading myself to do anything but sit next to Clio sharing a blanket, with my cold hands under her warm soft paws. She keeps looking up at me like I’m crazy, she keeps singing nervous yawns, because she thinks we have a lot to do, too, but she can’t remember what it is. But all dogs are narcoleptic, so she’ll fall asleep in a minute, and then I really won’t be able to move my hands. Outside the world is snowy and bright and melting, and people going by seem happy, but to me the snow doesn’t look like something fun to be out in, it looks like something good to be in from. I was thinking that I’d like to be Clio–not just warm and pretty and curled on the couch–but happy and cheerful and loving all of the time. But then I was thinking she probably has worries that feel as big to her as my idiotic worries feel to me. She might miss her brothers and sisters. She doesn’t know why we have to leave her alone for hours at a time, which might feel like days and days to her. She doesn’t know where we go, but she thinks it might be because she’s done something bad. She’ll probably never catch a squirrel, no matter how often she tries, and how fast she runs after them in her dreams. (“That sweet squirrel, you ain’t ever gonna catch it, never ever gonna catch it,” doubtless playing on repeat in her head.) One of Isaac’s favorite stories is of the time that Steenbeck the dog actually did catch a squirrel. She was so suprised that she dropped it. It’s a legendary tale in my family. My friend, who also has a squirrel-chasing dog, said he’d start using the phrase “dropping the squirrel,” in her honor. And to suit the bittersweet ambiguous quality of the emotion, he translated it into German, “das Eichhörnchen fallen lassen.” It happens so often in life! All that you ever wanted and more than you bargained for! You whine because nobody throws you the ball, and then when they do, you freeze! Well, I’ve been thinking about this idea in relation to all of the things I’m applying for lately, and all of the silence, terse rejection and discouragement. I’ve been thinking that I don’t really expect any other response, but it doesn’t keep me from trying. I’m still chasing that squirrel even though it runs up the tree. I don’t think there’s a chance of dropping it because I’ll never catch it, but you never know, maybe I should be ready. Or maybe I should just think, like Clio seems to do, that running after the squirrel is enough. The trembling excitement, the palpable adrenaline, the mad rush. And again, and again! I doubt she’d want to actually catch a squirrel anyway, it would probably scratch her eyes out. Or maybe she’d just be friends with it and they’d play tag, as Isaac has suggested. Either way, friends, be careful what you wish for and happy when you get it. Enjoy the chase, and whatever you do, don’t drop the squirrel!

The worst part of being sick is that I can’t taste or smell and my appetite is compromised. It makes me feel half-alive. And I only want soft and comforting things like mashed potatoes, or very strongly flavored things like ginger beer. These biscuits (in the American sense of the word) are soft, comforting, and strongly flavored. Crispy outside, tender inside, and very easy to make. They have smoked paprika, smoked gouda and black pepper, so they’re roasty toasty. Nice with soup or stew when you aren’t feeling well, or even if you are.

Here’s Squirrel Nut Zippers with La Grippe. Doubly pertinent!
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Hazelnut spinach tart

Hazelnut spinach tart

Hazelnut spinach tart

I seem to get a lot of calls and texts from people I don’t know, for people I don’t know. One woman in particular, a certain Lorraine, must have chosen my number at random to throw off the pack of people calling for her, none of them with anything nice to say. Last night I got a text from someone asking how my evening was going. It was a misdirected message, so I just ignored it, but we were thinking it would be funny if I wrote back. “Oh, you know, not so bad. I worked all day, and I’m strangely tired, even though we weren’t very busy. It’s all snowy here, it snowed most of the day. Now it’s rain upon ice upon snow upon snow upon last week’s snow. Very pretty and surreal in a glowing glittering pinkish-dawn light kind of way. I got home from work early because of the snow-slowness, but also because of the snow, the whole day felt like evening, and when I got home I just wanted to drink some wine, make dinner and go to bed, even though it was only late afternoon. I thought about times before electricity and heat. In the winter they must have shut their lives down when the sun went down. Especially if they couldn’t afford lamps or candles. I suppose I haven’t evolved much past that. Malcolm was at a guitar lesson when I left for work, and at a friend’s house when I got home. Isaac didn’t want to sleep without him, so he came down and watched Desk Set with us, and it was funny to think about him processing information about this huge ridiculous computer. Funny to think that computers have always been part of his life. One of my favorite parts of the movie is when Spencer Tracy grabs Katherine Hepburn’s hand and says, “I bet you write wonderful letters.” I bet she does! It felt strange to be waiting up for Malcolm, a sort of premonition of things to come, and a strange discombobulating reminder that my parents probably waited up for me when I was out till all hours. Of course I was older than Malcolm is now, and it was disarming to think about what Malcolm will be like when he’s older. When he came home he was all rosy and bright-eyed from the cold, and he gave me two hugs and sat with his arm around me for a few minutes, which was especially nice after I’d been confusing myself with thoughts of the future and the past. He told me he ate raspberries and whipped cream for dessert, and he knew I’d be jealous. We made the boys go to bed, but we could hear them talking, and I like to think about Malcolm telling Isaac about his day. My throat hurts, so I’ll probably drink some orange juice before bed. And that’s about it, that’s how my evening’s going.” But of course I didn’t write that, I didn’t write a long letter to a compete stranger. I just left it. I miss writing letters, although I was never very good at keeping up a correspondence. I like email for the immediacy of it, but I feel like we sometimes get lazy with it. Obviously texts and tweets are the least likely to be thoughtfully composed, but they’re still words, they’re still writing. So today’s interactive playlist is the subject of written communication: Letters, tweets, texts, writs, notes, cards, telegrams, whatever you like!

Hazelnut chard timbales

Hazelnut chard timbales

The first night, I made these little timbales, if you like, or tiny flans. I was experimenting with the idea of savory hazelnut frangipane, or hazelnuts ground into a sort of quiche mixture. It was very tasty! The next night, I decided to put it all in a crust, a yeasted crust almost like pizza dough. And I arranged some artichoke hearts and cherry tomatoes on top, for a change in texture and taste, and because it looked pretty and festive. And that’s that. I made enough dough for two small pies, and I used half of it to make a pizza for the boys, with simple red sauce and mozzarella.

Here’s your link to the interactive playlist. As ever, add the song yourself, or leave a note in the comments and I’ll add it for you.

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Clementine almond pastry cake

Clementine almond pastry cake

Clementine almond pastry cake

Sometimes when we have trouble making a decision we’ll ask Malcolm for help. Usually it’s a small thing–choosing between two paint colors, say, or whether or not I should add olives to a stew. He’s very decisive, but he’s thoughtful, too–he thinks quickly. And when he gives an answer it always seems to have been the obvious answer all along. It sounds silly, but I’ve been wracked with indecision lately on the subject of a story I’m writing. It was going along in the usual halting, stumbling way of most of my stories, when I noticed that it kept getting longer and longer. The characters were in my thoughts all day and night, and they were becoming more complicated, and all of these ideas about what things could be about started haunting me. I know you’re supposed to write something until it’s as long as it needs to be, but at some point you have to decide what you’re doing, you have to know where you’re going and have some idea how to get there. So I asked Malcolm. I was mostly joking, but I said, “Hey, Malcolm, should I write a short story or a novel?” I was thinking he’d just laugh it off, because it’s a ridiculous question. But he said, “Well, tell me about it, tell me about some of the characters, what’s it about?” This kills me! It’s so smart and sweet. And Malcolm had an idea for a story, too, which I’m going to help him write by asking him questions, so we were just like two writers, together, just a couple of story-writing friends, discussing our work. And I’ve decided to think like Malcolm, when I’m choosing if the story goes this way or that way…I’ll think quickly, and make it seem like it was inevitable all along. He chose novel, by the way, so we’ll see how that goes!

Clementine almond pastry cake

Clementine almond pastry cake

It’s a pastry cake! I’m very excited about this…I feel like I’ve invented a genre of sweet food. I first encountered the phrase “Pastry Cake” in one of my favorite books, Joan Aiken’s Go Saddle the Sea. I couldn’t find an actual pastry cake any where, so I decided it should be a thick dense cake, almost like a soft shortbread. The first one I made had a salted top. This one has clementine zest in the batter, plus almonds and a pinch of allspice and a drop of sherry. It’s stuffed with milk chocolate chips, and topped with sugar crystals, which gives it a nice sort of crispiness. Very festive, very tasty!

Here’s The Choice is Yours by Black Sheep
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Basmati risotto with french lentils, roasted mushrooms and spinach

Basmati and french lentil risotto

Basmati and french lentil risotto

For as long as I can remember, Isaac has asked for one thing (well, he’s asked for lots of things–this boy loves toys!). But his highly detailed and elaborately illustrated wish lists for birthdays and christmas have always included one particular toy: a caped Boba Fett. Did he see one, once, when he was very little, a vision of the perfect Star Wars guy, the very model of a model of a modern masked intergalactic bounty hunter, who will live in his memory forever? I don’t know. The point is that he’s never gotten one, but he never stops asking for it. It’s become a sort of quest, the elusive image of a perfect toy. A guy who can move his arms and legs, and has armor, and has a jet pack and has a cape. (A jet pack and a cape? Kids, don’t try this at home.) Isaac’s not an easily disappointed boy, he’s always happy with whatever presents he does get. The whole thing isn’t ruined because he didn’t get a caped Boba Fett. But he keeps asking. And if we ever saw a caped Boba Fett, we’d get it for him, and we’d be happy that he’s happy. But for now, I like the idea of Isaac not having caped Boba Fett. I like the idea that he could get it someday, it’s an event to anticipate, it’s a happy possibility. Maybe we all need a caped Boba Fett in our lives. Some pleasant perfect thing we’d really like, though can live without. Something to look for in our travels, to daydream about, to look forward to having some day. By the time we find caped Boba Fett, we might all actually have jet packs and morally-ambiguous grey green armor, but until then, we can dream, and Isaac will keep asking, he’ll keep putting caped Boba Fett on his list.

Basmatto

Basmatto

I had some leftover cooked french lentils and french lentil-cooking broth. I thought it would be nice to make risotto, sort of a comforting mujadara-type rice and lentil dish. Well, I didn’t have arborio rice, so I thought I’d try it with basmati instead, fully aware that it would never be as creamy and soft as the traditional type. I made basmatto. I used a combination of lentil-cooking broth and water blended with baby spinach as broth. I roasted mushrooms separately, and tossed them in at the end, so they didn’t become mushy and slimy. This was a very savory, tasty, meaty, satisfying meal. Good comfort on a cold day, and easy to make, too.

Here’s Boba Fett’s theme from the Star Wars soundtrack. Described by Wikipedia as “not music, exactly” … but “more of a gurgly, viola-and-bassoon thing aurally cross-pollinated with some obscure static sounds.” Yeah.

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Pear and gianduja tarts

Pear and gianduja tarts

Pear and gianduja tarts

Snow Day! They cancelled school before it even started snowing today, but by the time the boys were out of bed the snow fell thick and fast, and it’s still coming down. We trudged around our pretty town in the slush, the boys sledded a few times, Clio ran like a crazed reindeer in a snow-covered field, and now it’s pjs and legos and hot tea. Yeah. Last night we watched Searching for Sugarman, and, oddly, it featured more than a few shots of Rodriguez trudging around Detroit in thick snow. Just shots of him walking in the snow, and they were oddly moving. The whole film was surprisingly moving, as a matter of fact. It wasn’t really the story that got to me, although it’s a remarkable story, and although the music was intriguing, I didn’t feel like I knew all that much more about it for watching the film. It was the character of Rodriguez himself, as articulated by all the people around him. And not by the music critics and record producers, but by the Ordinary people in his life–his three wise and eloquent daughters and the bricklayers and construction workers he sees from day to day. We don’t actually hear him talk too much himself, which somehow suits the mysterious character we’ve been told about, who was so shy he performed facing the back of the stage. But his daughters and co-workers present the picture of a man who is content, not in a comfortable lazy way, but in a satisfied way, in the way of somebody who finds a lot to be happy about in small things, who is happy with what he has achieved, who is constantly curious and questioning, but not dissatisfied with what he has. Somebody who has his own definition of success, which extends from recording music to the hard labor he does to support himself in Detroit–demolishing and cleaning out houses. I’ll let Rick Emerson, a construction worker and friend of Rodriguez’s, tell you all about it, “He had this kind of magical quality that all the genuine poets and artists have: to elevate things. To get above the mundane, the prosaic. All the bullshit. All the mediocrity that’s everywhere. The artist, the artist is the pioneer….What he’s demonstrated, very clearly, is that you have a choice. He took all that torment, all that agony, all that confusion and pain, and he transformed it into something beautiful. He’s like the silkworm, you know? You take this raw material, and you transform it. You come out with something that wasn’t there before. Something beautiful. Something perhaps transcendent. Something perhaps eternal. Insofar as he does that, I think he’s representative of the human spirit, of what’s possible. That you have a choice ‘And this has been my choice, to give you Sugar Man.’ Now, have you done that? Ask yourself.” It’s almost as though he’s been reading Rolands Barthes, ““The film spectator might adopt the silk worm’s motto: inclusum labor illustrat: because I am shut in I work, and shine with all the intensity of my desire.” Because he’s shut out of a lifetime of fame and fortune, because he’s shut into the cold troubled city of Detroit, because he’s shut into his own creativity, he shines, and makes everybody around him shine with him.

Pear and gianduja tart

Pear and gianduja tart

I bought some pastry rings at the flea market, and I confess I didn’t know what they were for. A small amount of research suggested that you place them on a baking sheet and line them as you would a tart pan. So that’s what I did. I made the crust out of a sort of shortbread dough. I had some crumbled hazelnuts and chocolate chips from another recipe I’ll tell you about soon, and I decided to combine them with a bit of egg and milk and process them until smooth, and then top all of that with slices of pear. Yum. I made two smallish tarts (I think they’re 12 centimeters across) but you could easily make this in a ten-inch tart pan. You might want a bit more pear, that’s up to you!

Here’s I Wonder by Rodriguez from Searching for Sugarman.
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