Dense dark chocolate and raspberry cake

Chocolate raspberry cake

Chocolate raspberry cake

David and I took a trip today to the towpath we used to walk along when we first met, the place where we first intentionally spent time together, where we first kissed, twenty years ago today. Twenty years! It seemed as though the same old fellow in the same straw hat was riding on the same tractor and blocking the narrow winding road. It seemed as if the same birds were nesting in the same places. Of course it couldn’t have been the same birds, but it was probably their descendants, singing lustily in the vivid, shifting new leaves, so hard to see clearly, like memories or heralds along the path. Twenty years! I must admit I felt a little overwhelmed, to think about how much our lives have changed. To think about the people we were then, and how shy and uncertain I felt. I was afraid of long silences, but almost more afraid of speech–afraid to disappoint or be disappointed. It’s strange to think about how comfortable silence is now, and how full of promise, because I love talking with David and I have never been disappointed when he spoke. And to think of all the nonsensical ideas I’ve prattled about in twenty years, and how he’s come not just to tolerate this, but to anticipate it, and then to discuss it so intelligently that he makes my nonsense make sense. Almost as if he’d given it some thought, as if his thoughts had been wandering on the same strange roads. It boggles my mind that a person can spend twenty years so closely bonded to another person: sharing the same food, watching the same movies, listening to the same music, raising the same children, dreaming in the same bed, and it’s never boring, it’s constantly surprisingly wonderfully euphoric, in a glowing, peaceful sort of way that’s actually impossible to describe. And then the boys! So like us–so strange in all the ways we’re strange (poor lads) and so beautifully strange like just themselves and nobody else on earth. Twenty years ago we had long lazy days stretching before us, we had nowhere to be and not much to do. In my fading memory, my worries seemed so slight and easily unravelled. We filled the days up with each other, and now we have responsibilities and worries and decisions, which I can’t imagine getting any easier as we grow older. But we have one another to face it all with, we’ll take it on together. Well, I feel more grateful than words can say, so I’ll stop talking now.

This is sort of like a flourless cake, because it’s rich and dense, but it does have a tiny bit of flour in it. It also has almonds, lots of chocolate, raspberry jam and framboise. You could replace the framboise with chambourd, or any other fruity liqueur that you like. And you can use any kind of jam you like–you can experiment with different combinations!! Of course you should eat this with raspberries, but we gobbled all of ours down before I could take a picture, so the strawberries agreed to stand in for them.

Here’s Listen to Me, by Buddy Holly.

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Dense apple cake with almond toffee and chocolate chips

Dense apple chocolate chip cake

Dense apple chocolate chip cake

Welcome to The Ordinary on this rainy Sunday morning! David bought a few new-old CDs recently, and I’ve been knocked over the head by how wonderful some of the songs are. Two blues compilations, and lots and lots of Buddy Holly. Buddy Holly!! Who knew? I mean, I sort of knew, but I had no idea. So sweet, and rocking, and generally amazing. So this week’s Sunday interactive playlist is songs that are new-to-you that you’ve been enjoying recently. I don’t hear much brandy new music these days, because I don’t listen to the radio all that much or watch TV ever. But I do love to discover old music that I hadn’t known existed. It’s like when you realize that there are bright yellow, red, and blue birds singing noisily in the trees above your head, and they’ve been there all along but you never noticed. So new new songs, or old new songs…anything you’ve recently discovered that is making you happy lately.

This cake was something of a surprise!! I added raw apples to the processor, and whizzed them up. I wasn’t sure how it would turn out, and it turned out really lovely. Dense and delicious, almost custard-y, but there’s only one egg in here. I added almond essence, because I’m adding that to everything these days, and I added chocolate chips, because I always add them to everything! Always! I also added some salted almond praline, crumbled up, which gave a nice crunchy salty texture to the soft cake. Anyway–a very simple, satisfying cake.

Here’s the link to the playlist. As ever, it’s interactive, so feel free to add what you like, or leave a song in the comments and I’ll add it for you.

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Baked chocolate-coated cake donuts

Chocolate covered cake donuts

Chocolate covered cake donuts

This morning was dark and gloomy, and when the rain finally came it felt like morning had never happened, we were cast right back into the night. But the sun eventually came out, and I walked to the bank and cashed a savings bond I’ve had for thirty years, and I went to the magical used book store across the street, which always has exactly what you want when you want it, to buy a biography of Jean Vigo. Jean Vigo made four films, and he died at the age of 29 in 1934. A lot has been written about Jean Vigo, and I don’t have much intelligent film criticism to add, or any revelatory biographical details, so I’ll just tell you why I’d like to meet him. Holden Caulfied said that he knew he loved a book when he wanted to write a letter to the author once he’d finished it. I know I love a film when I want to sit with the auteur over a glass of wine, and talk about film, and plan our next shoot. I feel that way about Vigo more than any other director I can think of. Vigo worked in a partnership with cinematographer Boris Kaufman (brother of Dziga Vertov). Kaufman described filming with Vigo, even in physically harsh conditions with little time and money, as “Cinematic paradise.” Apparently Vigo was demanding but kind and very funny. I love to think about their friendship. I imagine that Kaufman was precise and technically skilled, and Vigo was vague and anarchic, but somehow they inspired each other, they found a balance to shoot wild, emotionally beautiful, beautifully filmed scenes. I’d like to be friends with them, too. I believe that people have different kinds of intelligence. The other night, in a half-awake state, I aligned these with the elements. Some have a practical, earthy intelligence; some have a fiery and passionate intelligence that’s focussed and burns very bright; some have an airy and intellectual intelligence, far-reaching and dry. And some have a watery intelligence, vague, changing, emotional. Of course, most people have some combination of these, but for me, personally, it’s mostly watery. Jean Vigo’s films are beautifully watery. Literally, in most cases–A propos de Nice is set by the sea, Tari, Roi de L’eau is a portrait of a simmer, and L’atalante takes place on a barge. And they also have a fluid, luminous quality, like light through water, stylistically and emotionally. Like water, they follow exactly the path they’re supposed to follow, along the river bank or surging to the shore, but they’re riotous and unexpected, too, and spill out over anything that attempts to restrict them or tie them down. Vigo has been called one of the early advocates of poetic realism. And it’s true that his films are a delightful combination of near-documentary prosody with beautiful flights of fancy and dream-like forays into characters’ imaginations. But he shows imagination and poetry as an essential part of reality, not a departure from it, and so I believe it is. We spend at least half our lives dreaming, and we only understand the world as we filter it through the strange web of our own minds. Vigo’s very ordinary characters are fascinating and lovely because he gives us a glimpse into the beautiful chaos of their thoughts and desires. We see the every day cruelty and kindness of school children and their small moments of freedom and rebellion; we see the day-to-day life of a couple of newlyweds, and we watch as they pull apart and come together, as they lose each other and find each other, and grow to know and love one another. They’re drowning with longing, and confusion and desire have never been so beautifully rendered, or with such humor and honesty. Vigo’s films have such simplicity and grace, such sincerity and soul, but they’re also deeply political, even revolutionary. In watching them we see an uncanny representation of the world as it is, if only we’d take the time to notice–wild, unruly, unfair, mundane, magical, and deeply, abidingly beautiful.

I made donuts! I’ve been thinking about it a while–Malcolm and I had some schemes in place. Yesterday, I just made some! I wanted to bake them, because I don’t like the smell of my kitchen after I fry something. Funnily enough, I’d spilled some butter in the oven the day before, so when I baked these the kitchen filled with smoke. Sigh. I adapted the recipe from a couple of old mennonite recipes (although their donuts were fried.) The resulting donut is quite dense and sweet-biscuity, but I believe this must be how donuts were intended to turn out, because they’re absolutely perfect for dunking in coffee. The chocolate melts, the donut softens, and then, as David says, you want more! I just bought some almond essence, after resisting for years. I resisted because I was semi-obsessed with it as a child, and put it in everything. Well…I am once again putting it in everything! It was nice here, though. It made the donut interesting without adding too much texture or craziness. You could replace it with cinnamon or lemon zest or any kind of flavoring you like. Or just leave it out altogether.

Here’s the theme from L’atalante by Maurice Jaubert, another of Vigo’s lifelong collaborators.

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Apple oatmeal chocolate chip spice cake with caramel frosting

apple chocolate chip cake with caramel topping

apple chocolate chip cake with caramel topping

Happy mother’s day to all the mothers of the world, but in particular, of course, to my own mom, Jane. My mom is kind and compassionate and curious. She knows more about more things than most people ever will, and she’s fun to talk about them with, because she really thinks, and she really cares. She’s one of the bravest people I know. She’s travelled the world, but she has the warmest and most welcoming home. She’s got the most toasty and comforting hands, imbued with huge doses of mom magic. She’s amazingly supportive, and she’s probably the only one who reads every stupid blog post, every story, every tedious essay. She laughs at my jokes, and she always has, even when they were silly and childish, even when they’re still silly and childish. She really loves what she loves with a sincerity that’s hard to find these days. She’s funny and cheerful and thoughtful. She’s inspiring and inspired. She’s a good friend.

Here’s a picture Isaac drew of me for mother’s day, and his endorsement of my cuddling skills.
momsday

Apple caramel cake

Apple caramel cake

And here’s a recipe for apple oatmeal cake with bittersweet chocolate chips and a caramel topping! It was really nice–soft and spicy and comforting. I got the recipe for the caramel from my old mennonite cookbook. You cook it, and then you beat it till it’s creamy, and it really works! It seized up a bit on the cake, but I went over it with a knife dipped in warm water and that helped to smooth it out.

And today’s Sunday interactive playlist is on the subject of…MOTHERS! and GRANDMOTHERS!! Suprise!

Here’s the link, feel free to add what you like, or leave a comment and I’ll add it for you tomorrow, once I’ve recovered from my mother’s day shift at work.

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walnut, coconut, black currant, chocolate chip bars

Walnut and coconut black currant jam bars

Walnut and coconut black currant jam bars

I’m in a mood to talk about things I don’t understand! Since David is at work, the dog’s not one for abstract conversations, and my imaginary friends are all busy with their monday morning chores, I’ll write about it instead. Or I’ll write about thinking about writing about thinking about it. (Nooooooo, don’t do that, Claire!) I realized recently that for a vague person I have some very strongly-held beliefs. I’m insecure and indecisive, but I’m oddly arrogant as well…deep down I honestly believe that there are certain inexplicable, inarticulable truths floating around in the universe, and I don’t understand them, of course, but I recognize that they’re there. I do! And it bewilders me that everyone else doesn’t recognize them, but they just don’t! I don’t believe that anybody can ever fully understand, but I believe in the value of trying to understand. I don’t think there are any definitive answers, but I think it’s important to constantly ask questions. I believe that words are confusing and clouding and inadequate, but we should never stop putting them together to help us to understand the world around us, and to share our questions. I’m in a mood to read words that other people have written about the questions–philosophers and theologians, possibly scientists and politicians. But I want to just absorb the knowledge–I want to inhale it, I want to eat it! And then I want to pare it down and arrive at my own explanation for all of the mysteries of the universe, in my own arrogant and insecure way. And then I want to write about it in the simplest and most articulate language possible, but, you know, with a touch of poetry. Luckily for you I have to finish the laundry and go to the grocery store, so none of that is going to happen. But the thinking continues…you’ve been warned!!

Let’s talk about bar cookies! They’re the simplest to make. You can combine all sorts of intriguing layers with practically no fussing and fiddling. I’d been reading in my old mennonite cook book about cakes that have a sort of meringue baked right on top of them, and that’s sort of how this worked. But the meringue is combined with walnuts and coconut. And there are finely ground walnuts and coconut in the bottom, shortbread level. And in between we have blackcurrant jam and bittersweet chocolate chips. Yum.

Here’s some Vivaldi that’s dramatic and tender, it’s beautiful, but I’m not sure what to call it. The first movement of a Concerto for two violins in g minor, maybe? Anyway, we’ve been listening it it a lot lately, here at The Ordinary.

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Flourless chocolate cake with salted almond praline

Flourless chocolate cake with salted almond praline

Flourless chocolate cake with salted almond praline

Would you rather have super strength or super speed? This is a question I encounter frequently, in my travels. Usually it’s Isaac doing the asking. But there’s a trick to the question, because Isaac already has super speed! He makes his hands rigid, like knives, and they slice through the air, propelling him forward at a remarkable rate. Malcolm’s new favorite sartorial accoutrement is a button down shirt, usually flannel, always plaid, worn open over a t-shirt. Not because he looks cool, or it keeps him warm, but because if he holds the corners and pulls it up behind him over his head, when a slight breeze blows it feels as though he could fly. We invented a super hero called “Whatever Boy.” His power is that he’s as impervious to discomfort as a ten-year-old boy. Sub zero temperatures? He’s fine in a t-shirt. Sand in his swimsuit? Pour some more in there, he won’t mind. Soaking wet jeans? Bring them on. This was my little joke, and I left it at that, but Malcolm didn’t. He’s expanded the universe of Whatever Boy to include arch enemies, additional powers and side-kicks. All he needs now is a uniform and a theme song. I love this about my boys! I love that they see the potential in themselves and in everybody around them to have super powers. If you think about it enough, your shirt might become a cape, and you might take off into the sky. If you see things in the world around you that are upsetting, invent a superpower to battle it, and it just might work. Of course they’re not always typically heroic powers intended for commbat with evil-doers. Sometimes they’re quite practical. Malcolm invented a scenario in which super heroes live together in a sort of dormitory, and they all have powers that come in handy around the house. There’s vacuum man and hose man and fan man and fire-starting man. Yes, they can save the world, but they can also keep a tidy house, cool you on a hot day and fill your swimming pool. Whilst walking through the woods, Malcolm and I saw a rusty oil drum. He told me that in World Tenn, a universe in which Malcolm and Isaac have different names, powers, sisters and flying dogs, the whole point is to stop things like that from happening. He told me that when they finish writing their book I’ll know a lot more about it. I can’t wait! If you were to ask me what superpowers I’d really like to have, I’d tell you I’d like to be as glowing and funny and singing as my Isaac. I’d like to be as bright and brave and vivid as Malcolm. I’d like to have their super creativity, and their super energy, and their super generosity in seeing everyone around them as capable of marvelous powers and heroic deeds, in seeing a world where you could have any power you want, just by wanting it.

salted almond praline

salted almond praline

This cake was gooooood! First I made a praline of salted almonds, skin and all. I keep buying salted almonds because, of course, they make a healthy snack for hungry boys. But nobody else notices they’re there, and I can’t resist them! So I decided to keep myself safe from them, and use up a few of them in a not-at-all healthy cake! Unassailable logic. So, first I made a praline of salted almonds. And then I pulverized that praline into a crumbly mess. Some big pieces, some quite small and powdery pieces. And I stirred this into a batter of ground almonds, melted chocolate, butter, strong coffee and eggs. And the result was a dense, delicious cake that I couldn’t resist! Damn. Very very good with fresh strawberries or raspberries or sliced pears and a dollop of whipped cream.

Here’s Old School by Danger Doom and Talib Kweli. I love it! And they talk about cartoon super heroes.
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Strawberry chocolate hazelnut tart -or- failed macaron tart

failed-macaron-tartAndre Bazin once suggested that critics should only write about films they like, and I agree with him. I feel as though I wasted some time earlier in the week talking about aspects of films that I don’t enjoy, and, to borrow Dylan’s phrase, that don’t do no one no good. One of my goals as proprietress of The Ordinary is to share films and music and art that I’ve stumbled upon at some point in my life. I’d like to share things that are often overlooked because they’re small or not-well-hyped or outside the mainstream. I want to share them not just because they deserve to be known, or because their creators have earned praise and recognition, but because your life will be richer for knowing them. Or so I believe. In that spirit, I give you Little Fugitive. I spoke in grand and foolish terms about the death of independent cinema last week, so it’s fitting to talk now about the film that many people have described as the birth of American independent film. Little Fugitive was made in 1953 by novelist Raymond Abrashkin and photographers Morris Engel and Ruth Orkin. It was nominated for an Oscar for best writing, which is somewhat surprising, because the story, though full of drama, is somewhat sparse of plot. Seven-year-old Joey takes a practical joke a little too seriously and believes that he’s killed his older brother. He’s on the lam, and he flees to Coney Island, where he spends a few days eating hot dogs and cotton candy, sleeping under the boardwalk, and collecting the deposit money on glass bottles to pay for food. Richard Andrusco, who played Joey, was a non-professional, as were most of the other actors. Engel hid a camera inside his coat, and he filmed Coney Island, teeming with life. He filmed hundreds of people who had no idea they were on camera. His portrait is joyful and affectionate, he captures every small beautiful gesture. He shows the poetry of two people folding a towel, coming together and moving apart as if in some strange sweet dance, he shows the easy generosity of a boy carrying a younger child through a flooded street. The story is told with the spontaneity and humor of a child–he sees everything because few people notice him, and we’re afforded the same chance. He’s buoyant and resourceful, as most children are. He operates outside the rules of the bustling society around him, darting in and out of crowds, weaving through a sea of towels and sunbathers. During the day this is mostly exhilarating and fun–he’s getting away with something. But as evening falls we feel his wistfulness and loneliness. We’re not told about it, we’re not hammered over the head with it, but we feel it in the off-kilter shots, in shots of him still in the center of a whirl of families, in the lights of the amusement park separated from him by a sea of forbidding darkness, and in the way he falls as the parachute falls, floating slowly down to the dark earth.

In this scene of a sudden summer storm, everybody runs for shelter, and we see Joey by himself, in a desert of lonely empty beachfront, searching for bottles.

The film is so visually beautiful and yet so simple and unplanned–more about observation than manipulation, more about noticing and capturing the beauty of the every day than creating a pretty scene with an expensive budget. The movement of the crowds, the small dramas, the lights and shadows of the boardwalk, the boy’s little triumphs and failures are so beautifully captured and so captivating. Francois Truffaut credits The Little Fugitive with the birth of the French New Wave, “Our New Wave would never have come into being if it hadn’t been for the young American Morris Engel, who showed us the way to independent production with his fine movie The Little Fugitive.” I wish the Americans had noticed this film half as much! I wish it had been like a little pin full of simplicity and honesty to prick the bloated studio system, and let out all of that hot air.

Strawberry hazelnut tart

Strawberry hazelnut tart

The filmmakers of Little Fugitive worked with the materials they had, and that’s what we do here at The Ordinary as well. I had a lot of leftover egg whites from a job I did last week. I tried to make them into hazelnut macarons. All went well, they fluffed up nicely and piped up nicely. But they were soft and sticky when they were done. And they all stuck to the tray. So I scraped them off, mixed them with some butter, liqueur and brown sugar, and made them into a topping for this tart with strawberries and chocolate. Delicious! They crisped up nicely as topping, and added a wonderful crunch to the juicy fruit and the flaky crust. You could use almond macarons, or meringues and chopped hazelnuts. You could probably even combine eggwhites, sugar, coarsely ground hazelnuts and a bit of butter, and it would work just as well.

Here’s One Too Many Mornings by Bob Dylan, because it’s been on my mind, and it seems like such a perfect song right now.

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Cherry chocolate blondies with coconut milk

Cherry chocolate blondies with coconut milk

Cherry chocolate blondies with coconut milk

I’d hoped to get to this before work, but time flies fastest just before work when you have a lot you want to do, and just at the end of work, when you have a lot you have to do before you leave. It’s Saturday, so it’s storytelling day. As ever, we’ve chosen a picture from Square America, and I’ve written a story about it, and I welcome yours, too. Here’s the picture. My story is after the jump, just before the recipe.
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I made these blondies because we had nothing sweet to eat with our coffee in the morning. Horrors! And I made them because I had some coconut milk leftover from a savory sauce. They’re so easy to put together, and so tasty once you do. They’re very very soft, but they get a little chewier as they sit.

Here’s The Verlaines with Bird Dog.

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Strawberry frangipane tart with balsamic caramel glaze

Stawberry frangipane tart with balsamic glaze

Stawberry frangipane tart with balsamic glaze

One of the great pleasures of doing the same thing every day is watching for the small changes. This is never more true than in springtime, when the small changes are so glowing and growing and hopeful. We’ve been taking walks after dinner, which is one of my favorite things to do when the days start to stay lighter later. No matter how tired or full I am, or how much my feet and back hurt, I always want to go for a walk after dinner. Clio can be relied upon as a companion, Malcolm is almost always game, David comes if he has time, and Isaac needs to be persuaded, almost every time. We’re lucky to live along a canal with a beautiful towpath, and we’re even luckier that between that canal and the river is an old abandoned train track. It’s got a quiet, secret feeling about it, but it’s a shared secret: you won’t be overrun by people, but you’re likely to meet somebody you know. Last summer, Malcolm and I discovered a beautiful network of paths that wind from the train tracks to the river, through a low woodsy stretch of land crisscrossed by creeks. This is where we go. It’s a beautifully dreamlike landscape, and if you run through it trying to keep up with Malcolm and Clio, it can feel ecstatically like flying. After the storm in the fall, it was difficult to walk here. Fallen trees and debris and networks of crazed brambles changed the course of the path forever. Even now, in spring, everything is coated with a hoary grey vine, dried, dead, and wintery, but still clinging thickly to everything in its path. It’s a solidification of the damage that the storm did…a creeping tangling spirit of everything that got washed up and unrooted and washed under.
storm grasses

storm grasses


Lately beautiful small yellow flowers are taking over the landscape. In the dusky light, they glow like grounded stars, more and more every day. They’re tiny compared to the strangling vine, but they’re alive and growing, and the vine is slowly turning to dust. Each day we see more green, more gold, more leaves and flowers, we hear more birds, and watch as the creeks rise and fall with the spring rains.
the yellow flowers

the yellow flowers


The other night it was just Malcolm and Clio and me. A storm was predicted, and I’m predictably terrified of thunderstorms. I thought we wouldn’t go very far, I said we wouldn’t go very far, but I didn’t want to go back once we’d started out, and we followed almost to the end of the winding path. We walked back to a gathering of dark clouds over the river, and the rumble of thunder. I grabbed Malcolm’s arm. He shone his bright face at me and said, “Don’t worry, mom, it’s a sign of spring.” We tumbled into the house, laughing, as the real rain started to fall.

I think this strawberry tart is one of the best things I’ve made in a long time! And I’ve made a lot of good things!! I’m so proud of the stupid balsamic caramel. I feel as though I may have invented it, and I’m scared to google it and see how many millions of examples of balsamic caramel exist. So…we have a sweetened pastry crust shell, peppered with black pepper. We have a soft almond frangipane layer, topped with thinly-slice fresh strawberries. These are coated with an unbelievably delicious sweet-tart balsamic vanilla caramel glaze that’s perfect with the strawberries and the creamy frangipane. I’m patting myself on the back as I think about it!!

Here’s We Walk, by REM, live in 1983 (!!!!) Actually, the vine-clad terrain of our walks reminds me of the cover of Murmur!

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Almond cherry chocolate chip cookes

cherry-chocolate-almond-cooMy boys are very close to one another. They’re hyperbonded. They love each other more than anything in the world, and they drive each other crazy like nobody else can. They share a room, and recently they moved their beds to be next to each other, despite the fact that this defied all reason, and that they blocked windows, doors and desk drawers. They lie in bed talking and giggling till all hours, discussing their secret world. I worry sometimes that they’re so content with each others’ company that they won’t make friends outside the family. But I think, in fact, they’re learning what it feels like to be a good friend, and to have a good friend. And that can only be a good thing when it’s carried out into the rest of the world. My brother and I have always been close–I can’t remember a time that we didn’t get along, and he’s always been an inspiration and a comfort to me. I have so many memories of discovering music with him, of trying to find my own music that he didn’t know about first. Of sitting in his room playing, and listening to an old boom box. Of riding in his car after he learned to drive, and listening to music that made us feel free, of dancing in somebody’s attic in the city where we both ended up for a time after college. Of arguing about the meaning of No Woman No Cry whilst walking the dark streets of Amsterdam, of dancing around the living room when we were all together in London for a week at New Years. Of course our parents had a lot to do with it, too. We listened to their records and liked what they liked. They danced around the living room, too. So this week’s interactive Sunday playlist is music that reminds you of your family. Music that makes you think about your siblings and their friends, or long family car trips, or certain holidays. Parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, friends-as-good-as-siblings, grandparents–all or any of these will do. And whatever your children are listening to will someday be the music that reminds them of you, so that counts, too. I’ve started the playlist here, so add what you’d like.

I was thinking that these cookies are perfectly Claire-y Ordinary-y cookies. I love cooking with almonds, I love the combination of bittersweet chocolate and tart fruit, and I love cookies that are crispy outside and soft in. And these are all those things! I added a bit of condensed milk, because I had some to use up, but I think these would work without it, so don’t not make them if you don’t have any.

Happy Sunday, everybody! The sun is shining here, and I hope it’s shining on you, too.
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