This time I’m going to listen to my own advice, and just post the damn recipe. Except that it’s two recipes. Sigh, nothing’s simple. We ate them together, and they go very nicely together, but they’re good on their own, too!

The first is “chick patties.” Part of an ongoing series, here at The Ordinary, in which I attempt to make homemade meat substitutes. Fake meat from the store – fakin bacon, veggie burgers, soy sausage – although frequently very tasty, is also very expensive and full of questionable ingredients. (Questionable to me, anyway, because I don’t know what they are, and my old eyes are getting so bad I can’t read the small print!) So, here in the test kitchens of The Ordinary, we have a whole division devoted to coming up with simple, economical versions you can make at home. Our motto is, “It’s all in the seasonings!” So we’ve made flakin bacon, veggie burgers, “meatballs,” and sausages. Well, we thought it was time to tackle every child’s favorite – the chicken nugget. I love the texture and flavor of roasted chickpeas, so we started there. I’ve been obsessing lately over the combination of lemon, sage and rosemary, so we continued in that direction. And I have fond memories of making lemon pepper chicken when I was very very young, so we added a big dose of black pepper. (Might be the first meal I remember being proud to share with people!) We fried them lightly in olive oil, and then ate them with oven roasted french fries and guacamole. The youngsters dipped them in barbeque sauce.

I’m very proud of my guacamole! It’s simple, yet flavorful. I add cilantro, lime, cumin, cayenne, tomatoes and a bit of honey. A lovely balance of sweet, hot, tart and creamy. Just in time for cinco de mayo!!

Here’s Organized Konfusion with Who Stole My Last Piece of Chicken. I love this song so much. And the video, too. Food and memory. Beautiful!!

CHICK PATTIES
1 can chickpeas, rinsed and very well drained
1 T olive oil
zest of one lemon
1 t sage
1 t rosemary
1 shallot, finely chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 slice whole wheat bread, turned into bread crumbs (about 1/2 cup)
1/4 cup flour
1/2 t baking powder
1/2 cup cashews – processed till crumbly
1 egg
1/2 cup grated sharp cheddar
lots and lots and lots of freshly ground pepper
salt

Olive oil for frying

Preheat oven to 425

Combine the chickpeas, lemon zest, olive oil, shallot, garlic and herbs on a baking sheet. Roast for about 20 minutes, till the chickpeas are just starting to brown. Transfer to a bowl. Mash slightly with a fork or potato masher. Add all of the other ingredients. Mix well.

Warm a thin layer of olive oil in a large frying pan, over medium heat. Form the chickpea mixture into patties of whatever size you like. No more than half an inch thick, but you can make them into nugget-sized patties or burger-sized patties, or anything in between. Fry for a couple minutes on each side, until golden brown. Transfer to a warm toaster oven or regular oven to keep warm.

1 avacado – ripe but not mushy or brown
1 plump clove garlic, roasted or toasted
juice of half a lime
1/2 t oregano
1/2 t cumin
1/4 t cayenne (or to taste)
1 t honey
1/4 cup (or to taste) chopped cilantro leaves
salt and freshly ground pepper

Cut the avacado in half. Remove the pit. Slice the flesh through both ways making 1/3 inch thick cubes. Turn the skin inside out to drop the cubes into a bowl. Add all of the other ingredients. Stir it all together with a fork, and mash it slightly, but it’s nice to have some whole pieces. Taste for lime, cayenne, salt and pepper, and adjust accordingly. Serve!