Here at The Ordinary, we’re extraordinarily crafty. Give us a few saltines, a length of ribbon and some double-sided sticky tape, and we’ll whip up a three-course dinner, a lovely appliquéd dinner jacket, and personalized individual place-settings for each guest, with their name in a never-been-seen-before font and a hazy picture of their childhood pet that looks as though it was taken in 1976! It’s true! This time of year, of course, we’re gifty-crafty! Crafty-gifty! And this year it’s all about the ball jar. We’re giving everybody on our list ball jars containing breakfast cereal made of tiny artisanally hand-crafted twinkies and oreos and bacon; nutella bacon hot fudge; and a tiny living treefrog in it’s own little ball-jar vivarium, with bacon. Do I sound bitter?!?! Why? It’s because I’m not crafty AT ALL!! I can’t effortlessly make things look pretty and appealing! I’m messy and vague. I can’t think of thoughtful little touches that make everything look stylie and perfect!! I wish I could, but I just can’t. That’s why I was so damn proud of myself when I made these little membrillo scallop shells. I think they’re so pretty! They glow, and they have a lovely shape. And they’re made of membrillo, which is, of course, quince paste, which is delicious and fun to make and very historical and Spanish. I think they’d make nice gifts, you can eat them as is, or you could pair them, as is traditional, with some manchego cheese. Last year we put membrillo with manchego cheese in cracker cups. Remember? And we used membrillo and some dulce de leche to make alfajores. They slice quite nicely, so you don’t have to stuff the whole scallop in your mouth at once! Here’s how it all went down…I made a batch of membrillo, and I was trying to think which dish I should dry it in, when my eye happened upon my madeleine pan. So I poured the membrillo into that. Two quinces made just enough to fill a standard-sized madeleine pan. Then I put them in the oven to set for a few hours. I let them dry overnight before I tried to pry them out, then carefully cut around the edges with a sharp knife, and scooped them out. I trimmed the messy edges with a pizza wheel. Then I left them in the cupboard for a couple of days to dry even more. And that’s that!! Now if I was a genuinely crafty person, I’d think of some ingenious way to present them. Anyone? Anyone? Martha?

Here’s She’s Crafty, by the Beastie Boys.
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