I like to read the end of a book first. I’ll read the last couple of pages first, and then I’ll go back to the beginning. I like to re-read books, too, especially books with happy endings. For a lot of people, knowing how it’s going to end spoils the enjoyment. Not for me. It’s hard to explain what a keen pleasure it is to know what’s going to happen, and to follow the characters as they make their way towards it. I suppose it’s like a child wanting the same book read over and over, until the words are almost memorized, until they can correct you if you leave out a sentence or read something in the wrong order. My boys will watch the same movies again and again, eagerly anticipating their favorite parts. It’s strange how something familiar can seem so new and suspenseful. Isaac will run out of the room at the same scary parts, even though he knows the movie has a happy ending. When I was younger I wanted to know how my life would go, too. Not how it would end, but what would happen along the way. I read horoscopes and when I found three pennies I’d throw i Ching, the book of changes. I don’t any more, though. Everything is going so fast as it is, we’ll know soon enough. And I’m caught up in the days, as they roll into each other, in so many ways all the same, but each full of a million little changes and surprises.

These cookies are like malted milk balls, but way better! They’re so good. They’re very addictive. They’re soft and cakey but they have a little bit of crunch. And they have chocolate!! The taste of malt and cinnamon is so soothing, to me. These are the ultimate comfort cookie.

Here’s Tom Waits with How’s it Going to End.

1 stick unsalted butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 t vanilla
1 egg
1/2 cup malted milk powder
2 cups flour
1/2 t salt
1 t cinnamon

1 cup bittersweet chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350 and lightly butter two baking sheets.

Cream the butter and sugar in a large bowl. Add the egg and vanilla and beat until light and fluffy. Stir in the flour, malt powder, cinnamon, and salt. Mix well. The batter should be firm enough to shape in your hands.

Shape into small balls – about the size of a walnut – and place on the baking sheet. Bake for about ten minutes, till they feel firm to the touch. If the bottom starts to brown, move them to a higher shelf.

Let the cookies cool.

Warm the chocolate chips in a small saucepan over a larger saucepan of water over medium heat. (Don’t let any water splash in or it will seize up!). Using a knife or spoon, spread a generous dollop of melted chocolate on the flat side of the cookie. Put on tin foil, and leave in the fridge or a cool place to set. Once they’re set you can store them in a cupboard.