My sister-in-law and her wife are getting married today! If that sentence doesn’t make much sense, it’s because the world hasn’t made much sense for years, but it’s starting to look a lot more sensible here in New Jersey. Christy and Danni were civil-unioned on this date six years ago, and today they’re getting married married. I’m so happy for them and proud of them, and I’m so happy my boys get a chance to stand up with them at their wedding. They are a perfect example of two remarkable people who make a remarkable couple. Danni is a set-builder, and Christy is a photographer and a teacher and a poet, and it’s always seemed to me that they have made their lives, they have made their life together. They have a picture of how their life could be, and they use their great energy and resourcefulness to make it that way, and to keep it that way. They use their enviable cheerfulness and passion to set their lives aglow, to capture all the beautiful moments, and they use their generosity to share it all with their friends and family. Anyone who is married will tell you that as well as bringing joy and comfort, marriage takes a lot of work, and Christy and Danni make the work look like fun. It makes so much sense for them to be together, just as it makes sense that any two people in love should be married if they want to, and it’s a beautiful thing to see the world shifting in this direction. It feels like a real triumph, to stand up to bullies like Chris Christie and anyone else who operates out of hate and fear. Today is a joyful day, a beautiful golden autumn day, to share love and to celebrate the fact that sometimes the world does change for the better.

The other day, Malcolm looked at me very seriously and said, “Mom, you make too many cakes.” And he’s right, I probably do. (I have one in the oven now!) But it’s so comforting to make them, and they’re so nice to eat on dark and icy October mornings and evenings. Hazelnut and chocolate is an obviously delicious combination. I combined it, here with some oats and spices, to make a sort of top-of-the-coffeecake cake. It’s got a crumbly consistency and a nice earthy spicy flavor.

Here’s The Turtles with Happy Together

1 cup hazelnuts
1 cup oats
1 cup flour
1 t cinnamon
pinch nutmeg
pinch salt
lots of freshly ground black pepper
1 cup brown sugar
1 T rum
1 t vanilla
2 eggs
1 stick softened butter
1/3 cup milk
1 cup bittersweet chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350. Lightly butter and flour a cake pan.

In a food processor combine the nuts, oats, flour, salt and spices. Process until the nuts and oats are broken down but not completely powder. Add the sugar, process again. Add the rum, vanilla, and eggs and process till smooth. Add the butter and process until completely incorporated. Add the milk and process until smooth. You should have a chunky sort of batter. Stir in the chocolate chips.

Pour the batter into the pan and bake 20 – 25 minutes till golden and firm to the touch.